He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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