Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my phone needs a breathalizer
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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