You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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