i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
