i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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