just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
