i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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