Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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