i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
