Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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