It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
