dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
