he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
