Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize