I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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