Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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