So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
