dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
did i walk over a car last night?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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