capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
No subtext here. People are naked.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize