What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
