Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
