Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
her vagine was all disorganized.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
