Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
