I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
