I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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