Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
