So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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