So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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