So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
