how can u be prego again
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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