I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
