just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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