We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize