so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
