this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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