do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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