There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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