Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
