Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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