doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
