thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
