i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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