so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
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