Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize