thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
