but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
