Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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