I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
