yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
