we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
