I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
