nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
