u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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