There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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