I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
