You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
